Spill of my mind

so here i am again…sitting down n still feeling sorry for the world we have made…a world we have filled with our sweat and spit.

i was reading an article of child prostitution and it just boils my blood to the point of ‘cecair–>stim’!!!!these "human beings" thinks they are God’s greatest creation to the world…and are able to do whatever the fuck they want…or possibly..whoever they wanna fuck?..i mean…pleaseeee laaa…those are little innocent kids u’re having sex with…kids as young as your own children…man…i really want to cut off their ‘tool’ n deep-fried their balls n feed them wit it…here you go…have pleasure eating your ‘pleasure’…bon appetite, fellows!…no joke here…seriously, these kids deserve better beings than those bastards…those arseholes dont even feel a quarter of the pain those young girls had to go through…its gonna haunt them for the rest of their lives (if they have a strong will to live thru it)…they’ll be afraid of man, of intimacy, of judgement, of reputation, of shame…and the list go on…i can never ever ever imagine wat will i feel if this ever happens to me or my family members or my friends…if this ever happens to me(touch wood), ill probably pray for a better next life…n then, kill myself!!!

i also read bout those parents selling of their kids to perfect strangers like its a second-hand item on sale…those parents are such cold-blooded creatures and doesn’t deserve to call themselves ‘human’…even the most successful predators like the eagles can care for their little ones…lets see it this way…you sold off your kids to some stranger who later treats your kid like crap…abuses him/ her…ignore him/her…and the poor kid grows up to be a violent, sad adult…n then he/ she gets married n have kids of their own…and how do you think they will treat their kids??..rite…exactly how they were treated as a kid…with abuse and coldness (there are alwiz exceptions, of course)…an action has a reaction…dont think that this will have an effect on the kid’s kid in the future? its a cycle of pain n suffering, generation after generation… i was thinking…maybe children should live in a different world, different earth…far far away from the bastards…so, the children can live happily without fears, guarded by angels..and the arseholes can go fuck themselves…

human beings are getting worse everyday…the sins of the humans might just make the world explode into a huge ball of fire…n…the end

depression…depression…such a strong word…too strong to admit that you are experiencing one…how does depression tastes like? dry? bitter? tasteless? a lollipop with a bitter center? or a melted ice-cream?…n how does it sounds like? silence of the night? cries of abandoned babies? howling of wolves during fullmoon? shrieking screams of the heart?…i dont know exactly…why?…maybe im just too numb to feel any emotions…or im too busy feeling the earth moves…i dont know anymore…n how does it looks like? the image of a sinking ship? a roadkill? a tombstone? a shivering puppy by the roadside? why is depression such abstract thing, so confusing to judge…

i wonder if there is any angels out there…real angels with beautiful wings…white wings that are too pure to be touched by anyone…how i wish i could touch it…softly…without burning my own fingers with my sins…if i did, its all worth it to touch happiness even if it will hurt…happiness is so vague…life is beautiful ( how i wish i didnt say that aimlessly)

i was a lover of choices…enjoyed the pleasure to determine my path…now, i realised…that too much choices could kill…killed my faith…clouding me with doubts and uncertainty…and pouring the same old rain…that washes away my sanity…day by day…hour by hour…minute by minute…second by second…left me fading in the gaze of my loved ones…

p/s: feelin just a lil much better now ^_^

hi again..i was watching MTV ASK: WESTLIFE…somethin struck me…i like them!!!hahaha..all this while, i was in self-denial that i DONT like westlife cause it wasnt ‘cool’ to like them (its pathetic, i know)…i was lying to myself…it might be a small matter but i was lying to myself without even realising it…so, finally i did…back to westlife, u know why i like them??…cause they are the best copy-caters i’ve ever heard…they like to do covers of songs from other artists…btw, they cant call themselves ARTIST because they just sings (nice voice ;p)…there’s very little originality bout them…seriously man…not original enough to inspire anybody…but, they made me realise somethin…n i truly appreciate that. im actually mocking them but liking them at the same time…such a contradiction…

and so, wat i really want is to make a VOW to myself and that is: not lie to myself again, and be ‘ME’…although i know that we live in a society n we need to conform to certain things…but, you are who you choose to become…we have a choice to be yourself or to be a clone of some other human beings, who apparently are clone themselves…so, imagine if the whole damn world is full of clones…you are me…i am you…everyone is the same…there will be one culture, one society, one everything…this ‘oneness’ might carve a path for world peace or NOT…when two same people wanting the same thing, there will be a conflict…like…i want power, he wants power…ROUND 1!FIGHT! there you have it…war…death…blood…guns…sorrow…a whole confusing mess of search for the superficials…

i knew that the worst feeling in the world is when i lose myself, trying to become somebody i’m not…alrite, my family loves me..my friends love me (i assume)…but, if i’m not myself, they are actually loving the person im trying to be, not ME…im a citizen of the world like everyone else…by saying all the things that i’ve said, it doesnt make me any BETTER or ‘BAD-ER’ than the others…im just puttin my thoughts into words…and i truly mean every single word i’ve said…k…thanks.

so, ive gone from westlife to my vow to world peace. it feels good to let it all out…*pheewww*

p/s: if you read all of this (and understand), i salute U!!!

if you are reading this…thanks for being curious as a cat…the main n only reason i did this blog thingy is that i feel i need to WRITE…i think alot n cant inhumanely possible to hold everything inside…too much burden, i guess…i thought of doin this blog in MYSPACE cause its much ‘cooler’..n so…i was thinkin (again)..why do i want to let strangers, people who doesnt even know me, to know n read my feelings?…thats just stupid n dumb…anyways, maybe i was just thinkin tooooo much..(no work today, thats y ;p)…n…for this blog, i want to make it worth-writing…not that wat-i-did-today kinda blog which i think, is quite meaningless…maybe no one cares to read MY blog…but, i dont really give a ‘u-know-wat’…so, thanks again peeps (im so polite today…cool..ironically, im listening to a remix song made entirely from sounds of gunshots, bombs n planes)…^_^…

p/s: as you already know, my blog name is michelleangeloo..its not to mock michelangelo or anything intentionally bad..in fact, he inspired me to write!!!!..a beautiful quote from him almost made me shed a tear..just a sentence can make somebody cry…how amazing words are…